I have been thinking about this post for a couple of months, but I keep putting it off and coming up with a list of reasons why I don't need to write it. I've started and deleted the words a couple of times, but a nagging feeling keeps letting me know that I DO need to write it. Often when friends have asked about the job hunt, I have been vague. The details are pretty rough, but if you care to read on here they are.
It is strange to feel that sharing my experiences is important...especially since they've been kind of a downer. This past year has resembled Disney's remake of Alexander's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Seriously. In the movie, everything that can go wrong, does. The family sticks together and by the end they have learned all sorts of valuable lessons. Maybe one of you will feel better about your year after reading my post. Maybe one of you will say, "I totally get it!". Still another may just laugh at all the irony...feel free. I do it too.
Despite what the previous paragraph may have led you to believe, I still have a lot going for me. I am married to my sweetheart (who is also a genius), I have a super smart toddler who makes me laugh all day long, as well as an absolutely beautiful baby. I have loving extended family and some dear friends who I know will always care about me. It HAS been a crazy year though! I suppose it was our turn. As a married couple we hadn't really dealt with serious illness, financial issues, or lack of awesome jobs.
Last spring-term Kevin decided he no was no longer enjoying his masters program. He LOVES developing software, but doesn't enjoy reading about academic research. After a lot of prayer and some sticking it out, he decided to withdraw from school.
By the time he decided to withdraw it was August and I was 5 months pregnant. We decided to go together to speak with his boss. His boss/advisor said it was fairly common for the CS guys to decide not to finish their graduate programs. We left his office hopeful and ready for the future. We had been VERY lucky in our employment during school and we had next to no debt, very few expenses, and a nest egg set aside that was to be the beginnings of a down payment for a house.
August and September were crazy busy with phone screens and interviews. Kevin was "wined and dined" at several companies headquarters and we were sure we'd soon be off into the real world and settling into a new life by the time the baby came. While the interviews were going well, we saw no real offers. The only numbers we heard were numbers I could make working in a call center...not awesome. Over 3 months Kevin interviewed 15 hours with one company alone. We were always told he was a strong candidate, but still no offer. Final round after final round came and went with companies saying their timeline was a few months out for decisions, and months later nothing.
Our car started shifting hard in October so we took it to the shop to have the transmission looked at. Our mechanic said the transmission looked fine, but that there was a BIG issue with the power steering. We hadn't noticed any real issues there so we took our car back home sans repairs. Three days later we couldn't turn the car at all. The power steering had suddenly gotten super bad. (I think the power of suggestion works with cars too!) We decided to repair the power steering at a whopping $750. That was about the extent of the money we were willing to spend on our not-so-new grumpy college car. It worked great! Three days after getting the car back from the shop, the transmission went out.
Thank heavens we lived in Provo where things are relatively close to home! I learned that I was capable of hard things like walking across town to Smith's at 7 months pregnant and walking home with my groceries. Evelyn learned to share her stroller seat with a gallon of milk with another gallon on her footrest. This was about the time I realized that in my own way I am super prideful. Only our siblings and a couple of my best friends knew about our lack of car for the first couple of months. I didn't want people to know how tough things were for us, and I didn't want anyone's pity.
My visiting teaching companion and dear friend made sure that I never had to walk the 20 blocks to my OB's office. If my brother wasn't available to give me a ride, she would pack up her kids and run me to my appointment, wait, and bring me back. I was so grateful for that. I still walked a lot though. To stretch our savings even further I learned how to coupon. Some days I walked 24 or 25 blocks to get great deals, and kept doing that up until mid-December. We are still using the shampoo, conditioner, make-up and diapers I bought then. Siblings hated it when they found out I hadn't asked for a ride, but I stubbornly wanted to be as independent as possible. I hated feeling like a mooch. It turned out that being in good shape made labor and recovery super easy...so really being car-less was a blessing in disguise. A really annoying and inconvenient disguise.
Interviews became scarce in December, but I was happy to have Kevin's help around the house! I was still working as an apartment manager and although I loved my tenants, I was also super happy to see them leave for the holidays so I could rest my uber pregnant self and take care of Evelyn who had RSV and then secondary ear and sinus infections (her first ear infection ever).
Being VERY pregnant and without a car has a unique set of challenges. Let's say that you have been having strong contractions for nearly 2 hours, they are 3 minutes apart, and it is 2 in the morning. What do you do? Hop a bus to the hospital? Have your husband call his brother and wake him up for a ride? I can check that off my bucket list! ...unfortunately it was a false alarm and we were sent home.
The new year rolled around and we welcomed baby Rhett into our family. We were home from the hospital 25 hours after he was born and 3 days later I went back to work. I felt great but I would suggest that if you try to do that, you bring a pillow to sit on. Save yourself some heartache...or other-aches as it were :) Rhett isn't a great sleeper at night, but he is mellow and willing to just sit and watch Evelyn and I during the day. I am glad he was so easy because the rest of us caught the stomach flu week 2 at home.
It was after Rhett was born in January that Kevin's parents (who I love) decided that it was not OK for us to have a new baby in the winter and not have a car to get around in. They gave us a loaner car. While it had been working great for them, it promptly stopped working for us. My visiting teacher asked me how I liked having a car again and I surprised her by saying it was sitting broken-down in our parking spot. That weekend her husband surprised us by coming over and tinkering with the car until he got it running...BLESSING!
Working with Evelyn and Rhett was an adventure. Evelyn wanted so badly to 'play' with her new little brother. If I went to the bathroom and didn't take one of them with me, Evelyn would be hauling new baby Rhett around the house by the time I finished. It was even tougher while I was in the office. I'd be working with a tenant and a moment later Evelyn would bring me baby Rhett. GAH!!! The stress of sleep deprivation, working, and of Kevin being unemployed was really getting to me. Kevin was trying to help with the kids while I was in the office, but it was seriously cutting into his job hunt time. We needed to look closely at the situation and figure out what to change to get the best possible outcome in the long run. I had reduced my office hours when Rhett was born. The pay covered our rent and utilities, but nothing else. My parents had invited us multiple times to come stay with them while we looked for work, and we finally decided to take them up on their offer. I wouldn't have the stress of work, and I could take care of the kids while Kevin focused on the job hunt.
We spent a month training replacements, packing, and cleaning and were back in Tremonton by the beginning of March. Yep that is us. Almost thirty and living in my parents basement. While this is just about an all-time low, we are able to stretch our savings even further here and being close to family is super fun...especially when we have several date-night sitters willing to watch kids so Kevin and I can go to the temple.
Since living here, Rhett contracted an RSV type illness and for a week we made daily trips to the ROC clinic to visit with a respiratory therapist and to clean poor Rhett out. Luckily he is on the mend. Evelyn had her 2nd ear infection and the car broke down again. Noticing a trend? Really, it is OK to laugh.
Since we are now considered long-term unemployed, we have some extra hurdles to overcome in the job hunt. Since the 6 month mark it has been tough to get interviews where we knew before Kevin would get at least a phone screen for nearly every application he submitted. We are focusing on networking now and are hoping it can help us overcome the pre-screen process. Kevin was a great student and any company would be lucky to have him.
I am learning so much about grace and the enabling power of the atonement. That extra umph that gets you through the days and weeks has been absolutely essential. Things may stink right now, but I know they will get better. I know that God has a plan for us and am hoping that we stumble on it soon.
It feels good to stop and just be real about the situation. I don't know about you guys, but I always feel so much pressure to make everything perfect...or at least make it seem perfect. So to avoid appearing imperfect I had stopped talking about it. The truth is the truth though...and its not pretty. I suppose this is where I say, "Don't cry for me Argentina!" The truth is, we really ARE doing alright. We are not the first to go through this and we won't be the last.
I am grateful that we were a naturally frugal couple and that we were able to save enough in school to carry us through this tough year. I am grateful that we have the gospel of Jesus Christ. It gives me perspective and hope for the future. I am grateful for Evelyn. She is fantastic and keeps us laughing. I am so grateful for baby Rhett. He couldn't have come at a better time. Sure I'd love to spoil him, but he is too busy spoiling me. He is an angel baby and I am so glad he is mine. I am VERY grateful for Kevin. He'll pull us through. I am glad he is a nerd, and SO glad that he loves me and our children as much as he does.
For those of you who made it to the end of this crazy long post, no, I haven't lost my sense of humor. Some days I wonder, but I think it is still hanging around. Strangely enough, sometimes in the middle of everything is when it is the easiest to laugh about it. You hear some new bad news and instead of thinking, "Oh no!" you laugh, shake your head, and think "Of course...why not?"
It is strange to feel that sharing my experiences is important...especially since they've been kind of a downer. This past year has resembled Disney's remake of Alexander's Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. Seriously. In the movie, everything that can go wrong, does. The family sticks together and by the end they have learned all sorts of valuable lessons. Maybe one of you will feel better about your year after reading my post. Maybe one of you will say, "I totally get it!". Still another may just laugh at all the irony...feel free. I do it too.
Despite what the previous paragraph may have led you to believe, I still have a lot going for me. I am married to my sweetheart (who is also a genius), I have a super smart toddler who makes me laugh all day long, as well as an absolutely beautiful baby. I have loving extended family and some dear friends who I know will always care about me. It HAS been a crazy year though! I suppose it was our turn. As a married couple we hadn't really dealt with serious illness, financial issues, or lack of awesome jobs.
Last spring-term Kevin decided he no was no longer enjoying his masters program. He LOVES developing software, but doesn't enjoy reading about academic research. After a lot of prayer and some sticking it out, he decided to withdraw from school.
By the time he decided to withdraw it was August and I was 5 months pregnant. We decided to go together to speak with his boss. His boss/advisor said it was fairly common for the CS guys to decide not to finish their graduate programs. We left his office hopeful and ready for the future. We had been VERY lucky in our employment during school and we had next to no debt, very few expenses, and a nest egg set aside that was to be the beginnings of a down payment for a house.
August and September were crazy busy with phone screens and interviews. Kevin was "wined and dined" at several companies headquarters and we were sure we'd soon be off into the real world and settling into a new life by the time the baby came. While the interviews were going well, we saw no real offers. The only numbers we heard were numbers I could make working in a call center...not awesome. Over 3 months Kevin interviewed 15 hours with one company alone. We were always told he was a strong candidate, but still no offer. Final round after final round came and went with companies saying their timeline was a few months out for decisions, and months later nothing.
Our car started shifting hard in October so we took it to the shop to have the transmission looked at. Our mechanic said the transmission looked fine, but that there was a BIG issue with the power steering. We hadn't noticed any real issues there so we took our car back home sans repairs. Three days later we couldn't turn the car at all. The power steering had suddenly gotten super bad. (I think the power of suggestion works with cars too!) We decided to repair the power steering at a whopping $750. That was about the extent of the money we were willing to spend on our not-so-new grumpy college car. It worked great! Three days after getting the car back from the shop, the transmission went out.
Thank heavens we lived in Provo where things are relatively close to home! I learned that I was capable of hard things like walking across town to Smith's at 7 months pregnant and walking home with my groceries. Evelyn learned to share her stroller seat with a gallon of milk with another gallon on her footrest. This was about the time I realized that in my own way I am super prideful. Only our siblings and a couple of my best friends knew about our lack of car for the first couple of months. I didn't want people to know how tough things were for us, and I didn't want anyone's pity.
My visiting teaching companion and dear friend made sure that I never had to walk the 20 blocks to my OB's office. If my brother wasn't available to give me a ride, she would pack up her kids and run me to my appointment, wait, and bring me back. I was so grateful for that. I still walked a lot though. To stretch our savings even further I learned how to coupon. Some days I walked 24 or 25 blocks to get great deals, and kept doing that up until mid-December. We are still using the shampoo, conditioner, make-up and diapers I bought then. Siblings hated it when they found out I hadn't asked for a ride, but I stubbornly wanted to be as independent as possible. I hated feeling like a mooch. It turned out that being in good shape made labor and recovery super easy...so really being car-less was a blessing in disguise. A really annoying and inconvenient disguise.
Interviews became scarce in December, but I was happy to have Kevin's help around the house! I was still working as an apartment manager and although I loved my tenants, I was also super happy to see them leave for the holidays so I could rest my uber pregnant self and take care of Evelyn who had RSV and then secondary ear and sinus infections (her first ear infection ever).
Being VERY pregnant and without a car has a unique set of challenges. Let's say that you have been having strong contractions for nearly 2 hours, they are 3 minutes apart, and it is 2 in the morning. What do you do? Hop a bus to the hospital? Have your husband call his brother and wake him up for a ride? I can check that off my bucket list! ...unfortunately it was a false alarm and we were sent home.
The new year rolled around and we welcomed baby Rhett into our family. We were home from the hospital 25 hours after he was born and 3 days later I went back to work. I felt great but I would suggest that if you try to do that, you bring a pillow to sit on. Save yourself some heartache...or other-aches as it were :) Rhett isn't a great sleeper at night, but he is mellow and willing to just sit and watch Evelyn and I during the day. I am glad he was so easy because the rest of us caught the stomach flu week 2 at home.
It was after Rhett was born in January that Kevin's parents (who I love) decided that it was not OK for us to have a new baby in the winter and not have a car to get around in. They gave us a loaner car. While it had been working great for them, it promptly stopped working for us. My visiting teacher asked me how I liked having a car again and I surprised her by saying it was sitting broken-down in our parking spot. That weekend her husband surprised us by coming over and tinkering with the car until he got it running...BLESSING!
Working with Evelyn and Rhett was an adventure. Evelyn wanted so badly to 'play' with her new little brother. If I went to the bathroom and didn't take one of them with me, Evelyn would be hauling new baby Rhett around the house by the time I finished. It was even tougher while I was in the office. I'd be working with a tenant and a moment later Evelyn would bring me baby Rhett. GAH!!! The stress of sleep deprivation, working, and of Kevin being unemployed was really getting to me. Kevin was trying to help with the kids while I was in the office, but it was seriously cutting into his job hunt time. We needed to look closely at the situation and figure out what to change to get the best possible outcome in the long run. I had reduced my office hours when Rhett was born. The pay covered our rent and utilities, but nothing else. My parents had invited us multiple times to come stay with them while we looked for work, and we finally decided to take them up on their offer. I wouldn't have the stress of work, and I could take care of the kids while Kevin focused on the job hunt.
We spent a month training replacements, packing, and cleaning and were back in Tremonton by the beginning of March. Yep that is us. Almost thirty and living in my parents basement. While this is just about an all-time low, we are able to stretch our savings even further here and being close to family is super fun...especially when we have several date-night sitters willing to watch kids so Kevin and I can go to the temple.
Since living here, Rhett contracted an RSV type illness and for a week we made daily trips to the ROC clinic to visit with a respiratory therapist and to clean poor Rhett out. Luckily he is on the mend. Evelyn had her 2nd ear infection and the car broke down again. Noticing a trend? Really, it is OK to laugh.
Since we are now considered long-term unemployed, we have some extra hurdles to overcome in the job hunt. Since the 6 month mark it has been tough to get interviews where we knew before Kevin would get at least a phone screen for nearly every application he submitted. We are focusing on networking now and are hoping it can help us overcome the pre-screen process. Kevin was a great student and any company would be lucky to have him.
I am learning so much about grace and the enabling power of the atonement. That extra umph that gets you through the days and weeks has been absolutely essential. Things may stink right now, but I know they will get better. I know that God has a plan for us and am hoping that we stumble on it soon.
It feels good to stop and just be real about the situation. I don't know about you guys, but I always feel so much pressure to make everything perfect...or at least make it seem perfect. So to avoid appearing imperfect I had stopped talking about it. The truth is the truth though...and its not pretty. I suppose this is where I say, "Don't cry for me Argentina!" The truth is, we really ARE doing alright. We are not the first to go through this and we won't be the last.
I am grateful that we were a naturally frugal couple and that we were able to save enough in school to carry us through this tough year. I am grateful that we have the gospel of Jesus Christ. It gives me perspective and hope for the future. I am grateful for Evelyn. She is fantastic and keeps us laughing. I am so grateful for baby Rhett. He couldn't have come at a better time. Sure I'd love to spoil him, but he is too busy spoiling me. He is an angel baby and I am so glad he is mine. I am VERY grateful for Kevin. He'll pull us through. I am glad he is a nerd, and SO glad that he loves me and our children as much as he does.
For those of you who made it to the end of this crazy long post, no, I haven't lost my sense of humor. Some days I wonder, but I think it is still hanging around. Strangely enough, sometimes in the middle of everything is when it is the easiest to laugh about it. You hear some new bad news and instead of thinking, "Oh no!" you laugh, shake your head, and think "Of course...why not?"
