Gratitude

Evelyn has had a bad cold for the past 3 days. She has had problems sleeping and has needed some extra help with naps. As I held her while she slept in a dark room, for long stretches of time, I have had time to think. My thoughts turned to gratitude. When I returned home from living in India I was surprised by how easy life is here. I was even more surprised that I had never thought about how life would be without the comforts I took for granted as basic needs. Have I always had a car? Yes. Have I almost always had a way to escape the heat or cold? Yes. Have I ever been forced to go hungry for extended periods of time? No. After seeing the poverty among the kids I worked with in India I realized that my 'necessities' weren't necessities at all.

Life in India was exhilarating because everyday was a challenge. Even then, "how to survive the heat?" and "how to not get lost" were still my biggest worries. That showed my background. I was consumed with my 1st world problems. The people I worked with were trying to earn enough money for dinner...not enough to retire on. The kids were just out to survive and learn what they could on the side.

While I rocked my sleeping baby I realized how complacent I have become in my gratitude since 2010. I have been home from India for over three years. Three fast paced and crazy years. I have been so blessed and had started to see the good things as a direct result of my hard work. While I am sure hard work figures heavily into the good things, I realize that these things are blessings from a loving Father in Heaven. Good jobs have been offered to Kevin and I based on our experience. Did we work to gain that experience? Yes, but the resulting jobs have been nothing short of miraculous. Housing and education have yielded similar results. While we have had to work hard and we have had our share of struggles, I acknowledge that life has been good to us.

When I was stuck in bed for most of the 3rd trimester while pregnant with Evelyn I felt like I had earned her. I had stayed still to keep her safe when all I wanted to do was go for a walk or clean my house. Having just moved I endured loneliness, going days between visitors, waiting anxiously for Kevin to finish with his workday so I'd have someone to talk to. Even with all that effort or 'non-effort' as the case was, there is no way for someone to earn a child. I watch as Evelyn learns new things each day and am amazed that God thought I could help raise her. Most of the things she learns give me a good chuckle, but some remind me why I am here and encourage me to do everything I can to help Evelyn develop a knowledge of the truth.

Two weeks ago I was having one of 'those' days. I am pretty sure other moms have had them. Luckily they don't happen often. Evelyn had learned how to open the lid on the toilet and had filled it with new rolls of toilet paper. I came upstairs to a toilet bowl filled with sopping paper...it was even the good stuff! And that was just the beginning. Evelyn is usually adventurous but generally well behaved. That day, though, she tipped over the garbage cans in the kitchen, my room, and her room. She pitched a fit while I was in the office helping tenants and wound up clubbing me in the head with a stapler she found in a drawer. That night we had mutual followed by a Young Women's Presidency meeting. The meeting went from 8:30-9:15 so it was definitely bedtime for Evelyn. She was pretty worked up and I felt haggard. How could I contribute in a meaningful way when all I wanted to do was go home and put my little crazy to bed. I sat wrangling Evelyn, feeling super conspicuous since the other ladies looked so well put together and calm. I finally said a little prayer asking for Evelyn to have help to 'chill out'. During the closing prayer she calmed down and as I peaked at her (to make sure she wasn't rummaging quietly through someones purse) I saw that she had folded her arms and bowed her head. As I gratefully watched her pucker up her little face, squeezing her eyes shut, I felt Gods love for me.

We had worked hard as parents to help her fold her arms for prayers, but to no avail. Our attempts were met with complaints and squeals every time. That was what my efforts alone got me. But when my efforts were combined with the grace of God, I experienced exactly what I needed that evening. I KNEW that God was giving me the encouragement I desperately needed.

We know that it is when we are in our extremities that we come to know God. I have not been called upon to be in the extremities of health, hunger, pain, or injustice, but that night I was in my own extremity. I was tired and discouraged. I thought for sure that I was 'doing it wrong'. God knew that I was trying. That night he taught me that His grace makes all the difference. In the short time since then I have been able to look back on that lesson when I feel my patience wearing thin. I think God knew that I would need that experience to steel my resolve to be more patient. For his gentle understanding of my weaknesses I am grateful.

Evelyn seems to be feeling better this evening so I don't know that I will find the extended time each day to think about gratitude. I DO hope that I will remember that life is at its best when I put forth my best effort and ask God for help, then acknowledge his hand as the blessings come. It's a good day to be grateful.

Summer and Pillows!

Ok, so this summer has been a big turning point in my life. For the first time in years and years I don't have deadlines hanging over my head. Now that I am finished with school, my stress level has gone down SO much. I have had years and years of things like juries, recitals, performances, papers, finals and loads of other things. I loved all those things but life was busy enough that there was always an approaching deadline, and never quite enough time to prepare. Now my main job is keeping Evelyn alive, happy and learning and Kevin fed, happy and supported. I still work, but only 20 hours a week and I am available to play with Evelyn a lot of that time.

July was a big goal setting month for me. I decided to be very present in my home. I always want to be available for my family. Some weeks since then I have dropped off the grid as far as technology goes. I always used to be accessible via phone, email or Facebook, but I have noticed lately that I leave my phone up in my room all day and go a week between checking my email. Sometimes that isn't a good thing since the Young Women's Presidency in our ward does a bunch of planning via email. I think Evelyn is a lot happier now though. I try to not be on the computer at all when she is awake (unless I am working).  She has taught me a LOT about what she knows since I have shut the computer. She brings me toys for me to show her what to do with them. She loves sitting on my lap rocking her baby doll while I rock her, and the other day she chased me around with her teddy bear while she roared.

I feel SO lucky to have her. I thought she was this little miracle when she was born, but the older she gets I realize more and more what a miracle she is. That fact that she can learn so quickly and do so much more than she could a year ago. I find myself feeling more and more grateful each day. Some days I feel antsy to reach the next step in life. You know, having our family be done with school and out in the real world.  Not living in an apartment anymore and having our own space to spread out in. Despite those feelings, I know we are where we need to be doing what we need to be doing and that is all that matters.

Kevin's degree is keeping him super busy with research TA-ing and class work. We don't have much time together, but I love that I now have the time to make him dinner every day!

On to the pillows! I had several pillows that needed a facelift to make it on the couch...or anywhere out in the open. They were covered in pale blue and pink flowers which did not go with my house at all.  Instead I thought I'd go with some bold contrasting fabrics. Most of my furniture and deco are not modern, but these touches work. I like the effect they give my living room as a whole.

The pillows in the picture below are for Evelyn's room. Her room is done in pink and green and I think these will go well. I put button closures on the back. They turned out great!

It is a good day to be grateful!

Summer Projects

I thought I would just document a few of the projects I have tried this summer. Life has been busy but I squeeze time in for things like this occasionally.

#1 Homemade Starburst

This was delicious. I made it because I was in the mood for starbursts but we are trying to avoid all the extra preservatives that come in packaged foods. I am sure there weren't healthy, but I figure by making them I know what is in there. The recipe is pretty basic but turned out delicious. You can find the recipe at http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101215160502AAcByeV I LOVE that you can make it with any flavor of kool-aid (not that kool-aid isnt packed with preservatives...alas the world we live in!)

#2 The Quiet Book

I wanted Evelyn to have a quiet book for her 1st birthday. Since they are super expensive to buy, I decided to make her one. It seemed really ambitious to me given my fledgling art skills, but it turned out remarkably well! She plays with it ALL of the time.

 Evelyn LOVES Peek-a-boo and playing with the 'baby in the mirror' so I combined both one page 1.

Evelyn likes to hide things in the teepee and in the mailbox. The flag goes up and down and pulls off via snap.

 Here is a close up of the zipper teepee and the Indian. I reinforced his body with 2 layers of felt, but should have reinforced his hands and feet too. Evelyn pulled one of his hands clean off!

 While Evelyn doesn't know how to snap things back on yet she places the removable shapes over their sewn on counterparts. She can already match them. She also likes to put the apples into the barrel.

 This page is her VERY favorite one! I made a piggy bank complete with coin slot. The purse is velcroed into the book, but can be completely removed so she can wear it. I baught the jute strap and eyeballed everything. I got a set of $ at the dollar store. The kind with coins too big to swallow. It also had money, fake checks, and fake credit cards. We keep an old cell phone in the purse too.

 This one just has velcro on flowers.

While this is the last page for now I have several more in mind for when life slows down a bit this fall. I am thinking Noah and the Ark, or maybe Jonah and the whale. Pinterest is a fountain of information and ideas about quiet books, but I found it worked out better if I came up with my own ideas after browsing for a little while. It took most of my spare time for two weeks since a LOT of it is hand stiched, but it was definitely worth it to see Evelyn have so much fun.

#3 The Easter Basket

I was helping stage an apartment for photos and tours last month. We needed a classy basket for the living room. This was all we had hanging around an old storage closet at the complex.

Tres chic eh? three hours, some tugging, and two coats of spray paint later it is the basket under the table in the picture below.

 Not bad for upcycling.

#4

This one has no pictures since it is still in the works. I have a box of flat 2 inch wood tiles. I am sanding them and adding colors and pictures to them to make a matching game for Evelyn. I think they will turn out well. If they do, I will post pictures. If not, you'll probably see pictures anyways :)

Well this summer overtaxed my creativity, but I think it was good for me. I will keep it up and we will see what comes of it!

What A Summer!

Well I thought I would do a blog post every month, but with my schedule that has NOT been do-able. I suppose I will just catch you all up when I have some down time...not that loads of you read this blog on a regular basis, but I am grateful for a few old and new friends who do :)

Kevin and I have been managing the Sparks II complex for a little over 3 months now. It is a lot of work, but I think it is really good for our little family. I LOVE that I can be home with Evelyn. With summer being the busiest time of year I also love that I can look forward to this job slowing down a lot once school starts. I have been selling contracts all summer and today we are down to our very last 2 contracts 1 for men and 1 for women. With three weeks plus till school starts I think we will fill.

Although summer is the busiest time here and I can look forward to things quieting down, I have made some realizations about life and priorities this time around. My pans for the summer were to work as manager, study for comprehensives, write my thesis and be a mommy. Plans for the fall would be the same, but would also add in my 10 hour a week assistant-ship. As I was doing all the things that were expected of me (including filling in as a lecturer on campus every couple of weeks) I saw a disturbing trend. My work, thesis, study, and teaching were all getting in the way of my other responsibility...mommy.

That is backwards right? ...right. To all you mommies out there you probably understand. I had no time even before adding in baby's needs. I felt like I always had to tell Evelyn "Sorry sweetheart, mommy doesn't have time to play right now." How could I keep saying that to my little buddy? This time in her life is so developmentally important. I want her to know from early on that she matters to me. I want to be accessible to Evelyn because I am grateful that my own mom was always accessible to me. I want Evelyn to learn how to play make believe and how to build with blocks, how to scribble and how to climb the stairs. And I want her to learn to do those things with me. She deserves a best friend who is available.

I was faced with one of the toughest choices I have ever made. What to give up. Well, as a grad student you are expected to make some sort of contribution to the department in the form of teaching or TAing so that couldn't go. I needed to keep the management job because that was an answer to prayer and is a great way for me to help us save up now that Kevin is in grad school. After weeks of thinking about it, I decided that my masters degree was the one thing  I could let go for the sake of something better. I realized that I was finishing my degree to finish it, not because finishing it would change anything about my life. I had thought that I might teach a few classes once my kids were bigger, but if you are out of the field for years a university probably won't hire you anyways. I realized that this is a time in life that I will not get back. I need to be present in my home. I know I have made the right decision. Now that I am accessible Evelyn is WAY happier! She will come over and play with me for 10 or 15 minutes at a time, but then returns to what she was doing. We go to the park, duck pond, or swimming most every day.

Now I am just working as manager and being a wife and mother. While there are still times when I need to work and must tell Evelyn I can't play right now, I am so much more focused on home and family. Even when I am working Evelyn is with me (unless she is napping).

I am so grateful for Evelyn! She is now 13 months old. I have been meaning to post some photos of this summer.

 Having fun with cousins up in Garland.

 Evelyn LOVES her hat and wears it all over the house.

 My whole family came down for her  birthday. We swam in the pool and had a BBQ.

 Time for cake!

 Evelyn's first exposure to chocolate was a roaring success!

 Evelyn was on this kick for a few days where she would put her jumper over her head and crawl around giggling. 

 On the train at Lagoon.

 Laughing at the monkeys at Hogle Zoo.

 We go swimming a few times a week. Evelyn LOVES the water.

 Ducks in two directions at the duck pond. She didn't know which way to look first!

 She is getting SO big!

 Apparently Evelyn thinks the ducks have had enough bread. Her turn now :)

 Evelyn is a great climber...at the park...in the house...on the bookshelves...

 We keep a diaper changing station in an ottoman. She opens the lid and climbs in almost daily.

Computer wiz kid. Already learning how to type and run a mouse :)

Life is good! The next couple of weeks will be crazy as the students arrive for school, but I think we can do it. Have a great day!

A Summer of "New"s

It amazes me how quickly life moves on and changes. You blink and miss something! This is the summer of all things new for our little family. We moved across town to accept a job as BYU single student complex managers. Started that new job. I received a new church calling, and Kevin graduated and is gearing up for a new degree. Evelyn is full of new things too!

Our new job started in April, but we couldn't move right into the apartment at Sparks II because they wanted to remodel our apartment. I was so grateful when they finished because now there is a safe place for Evelyn to play while I work...our living room! My office is just off the living room of our apartment. Evelyn doesn't really like that I need to work, but I only have office hours for 4 hours a day M-F and she sleeps through more than half of them.

Evelyn loves the tenants here. She smiles and giggles when they walk into the office. They love her too. Some of the tenants drop by just to see Evelyn in the afternoons. It is remarkable how much more social Evelyn has become since we started here. It is very good for her. It is very good for all of us!

We hosted a pizza party last night and got to play games for the evening with the tenants. They are super nice. If you know anyone moving to Provo send them my way. The people here are great!

I was called to the Young Women's presidency last month. I am super excited. We have some really great girls! They all love Evelyn and she loves them too. It works out very well because Kevin clerks on Wednesday nights when Evelyn and I have mutual, so we all go to the church together! I received the call just in time to get ready for girls camp this summer. Another girl in the presidency can't go because the is going to have a baby in a couple of months, but she offered to take Evelyn for a day while Kevin works so I can go up overnight with the girls. I can't wait!

Evelyn crawls like a speed demon, she is cruising along furniture too. Not up on the whole balance thing, but it will come! She sings, babbles and can say daddy, mama, baby, hi, and eat. She also presses the phone up against the back of her head and says "hi". She keeps Kevin and I laughing at our house. Today she managed to get up to the boggle game and put two dice in her mouth before Kevin caught her. Scary, but her chipmunk cheeks were hilarious.

As you can probably see by the finger and lip prints Evelyn's mirror gets a lot of love :) She loves playing with 'The baby in the mirror'

I had a roll of paper towels out and this is what I came back to.

Starting her out young accessorizing :)

Evelyn always wants to be like her daddy. She put his tie on and kept it on all Sunday afternoon.

I often feel spread very thin trying to work, fill in for professors in the department, finish my thesis and exams, be a mommy, wife, as well as serving in the church. I will be excited when (in a couple of years) I can settle down to focus on the last three alone. It is hard to be everything all at once, but I know this time will be short and I am sure I will miss the frequent interaction with students and academics alike. Life changes so quickly and I don't want to miss anything!

We got a job and are MOVING!!!

...Ok so we are only moving across town, and since we are both still going to be in grad school it isn't even a "real" job. Kevin and I are going to be the new managers at Sparks II townhomes here in Provo. The current manager is an "in the hall with the kids" friend from church and she suggested I apply and recommended me to the owners.

Sparks II is a single student complex south of BYU. We are really excited! It is a good job for me and allows me to work at home while Kevin is in grad school. They expect me to have Evelyn with me which is awesome! And they are excited that I am still a student. It should be a lot like when I was an RA up in Idaho only I need to be home more, but since I have Evelyn we stay fairly close to home for naps anyways. The apartment is a tad smaller than our current one I think, but I really can't find fault with free rent and utilities or walk-in closets. They are even remodeling the kitchen and bathroom before we move in next month. There is a pool, hot tub, pool table, ping-pong table, bbq, and 60 inch TV.  This is a good move for our little family. I think it will help keep us young while we finish school. Heaven help me packing with Evelyn!


My mom and mother-in-law are amazing! We have had each of them for a week this semester. Thanks to them I finished my class very well and got a great start writing my thesis while they played with Evelyn. I feel so bad when I have to tell her I have homework to do. Since I hate saying that, I usually try to cram gradschool, TAing and keeping up my house into naptime. Thanks to Nana and Grandma I haven't had to do that for a while!

As for Evelyn, she is doing really well! At 9 months old she's still very healthy, and growing like a champ. She crawls like a fiend now. I chase her up and down the hall growling while she squeals and giggles :) She pulls herself up to walk along the couches. She turns pages in books instead of ripping them. She opens drawers and crawls under the bed in my room. She claps her hands and plays peek-a-boo. She still only says mama, dada, and baby, but she is understanding a lot more if not saying it. As of today she is 20 1/2lbs and 28.5 inches long
.

 Playing with the baby in the mirror.

 She loves any form of technology, even if it is an old deal laptop. She gets that from Kevin.

She plays a mean pot lid...she gets that from me :)

We took Evelyn to the Festival of Colors last month. She and I hid in the gift shop during the actual throwing to protect her lungs. Then she fell asleep in all the chaos. We still got covered with powder though. Cleaning up after was a joke with Evelyn :) So fun!

It has been a great year so far! We are making changes in our family to enjoy even better health.. I just finished a 9 week workout program called Insanity. It was awesome! I plan to continue doing it a few days a week still since it was SO good. I highly recommend it to anyone who is it decent shape already and wants to get in the best shape of their lives!

Life is good!

Moving on while standing still...

The last couple of months have been pretty crazy. Kevin and I are just managing to stay afloat with school, work, callings, and Evelyn. We have even kept up our new years resolutions so far. We are eating healthier (if this counts I make pumpkin chocolate chip cookies that use all whole wheat flour and applesauce instead of oil) lots less processed foods, and we haven't missed a day reading a chapter from our favorite book. The Book of Mormon.

With this being my last semester in classes, the end of the scheduling chaos is nearly at an end...I think....maybe...OK so probably not. There will still be all the evenings this summer that Kevin will have to take Evelyn after working all day so I can go live at the library and work on my thesis. I would like to get most of it written this summer because...drum roll please... Kevin was accepted into the grad program for computer science here at BYU starting this fall!!! We are very excited. His emphasis is graphic user interface and he really enjoys it. More good news, he gets to keep his current job through grad school. He will continue to do research for the professor he works for now. So for now we are moving on while staying in the same place.



I have been experimenting with some projects (when I should have been doing homework) and some of them have turned out really well!

I made these blocks for my friend Lindsay's wedding. They take a decent amount of space, but I love them. I've made similar blocks with baby paper on all sides and birth statistics.

They were super easy. Sand and stain the wood-Print and cut the letters/photo- Modgepodge paper to wood.

This February marked my third Valentines Day with Kevin. What a great time it has been. I wrote him a list of 100 things I love about him and filled a basket with little gifts that signify important things about our relationship and he spoiled me with a homemade candle lit dinner (the same one he proposed with) and CANDY!

Kevin is always so kind to me. I don't know that I have ever heard him say anything mean about anyone, and I know he has never said anything harsh to me. I don't think I have ever met a more mild person and I am truly blessed.


Speaking of blessings! Evelyn is growing up WAY too fast. While she hasn't started crawling yet, at 8 months she is the fastest army crawler I have ever seen. She gets up on her hands and knees and rocks, but slithers onto her belly when she actually goes to move forward. She can army crawl right over the top of me if I am between her and her favorite toy (right now a slotted wooden spoon from the kitchen :) ). Evelyn babbles up a storm these days. Right now I am pretty sure "mamamama" means "I want something" or "I need help". "Dada" is her pass-time word. The only word she says that I think she actually comprehends the real meaning of is "baby". She opened a magazine to a picture of a baby and said it over and over while smacking the magazine. She loves exploring the house, blowing raspberries, babbling, and sitting in her highchair to eat cut up berries.

She is getting SO tall!

Evelyn loves books. Especially the one with pictures of toddlers telling the story of Nephi.

She decided at 6 months that my bed was the ONLY acceptable place to nap.  She also decided that 4 1-hour naps would be a better idea than 2 2-hour naps. So she is only awake for a couple of hours at a time and is still down for around 10.5-11 hours at night. You know, she can do what she wants as long as she naps. When she is happy we all win!

 I think Evelyn's room will always be a work in progress. I still have fabric from her quilt and wall hanging to cover pillows with. We will see when that happens!

I DID use some of the fabric to cover formula cans for holding her hair bows

I have been learning so much lately about what it means to value those I love. What would I do if I didn't have them? There have been days as a parent that I think "What in the world did I get myself into?" but I would rather have Evelyn on her very worst day than not have her at all. Same with Kevin (although he really doesn't have bad behavior days). I count myself very lucky to be surrounded by such a happy family. My little sweetheart is always full of smiles, squeals, and giggles when I get home from class to relieve Kevin. Heck, if Kevin were the squealing or giggling type he might be too! As it is I know my family loves me and enjoys having me around. I am really excited for the day when I will be done with school and work so I can focus wholly on the tasks of being a wife and mother. Till then I suppose I will always be a little tired from staying up late to do homework after Evelyn goes to bed! 

Here is a little video to finish up. Our home teacher was making Evelyn giggle so hard she had tears running down her cheeks. We missed the hardest giggles while grabbing the camera, but it still makes me happy.