Well I thought I would do a blog post every month, but with my schedule that has NOT been do-able. I suppose I will just catch you all up when I have some down time...not that loads of you read this blog on a regular basis, but I am grateful for a few old and new friends who do :)
Kevin and I have been managing the Sparks II complex for a little over 3 months now. It is a lot of work, but I think it is really good for our little family. I LOVE that I can be home with Evelyn. With summer being the busiest time of year I also love that I can look forward to this job slowing down a lot once school starts. I have been selling contracts all summer and today we are down to our very last 2 contracts 1 for men and 1 for women. With three weeks plus till school starts I think we will fill.
Although summer is the busiest time here and I can look forward to things quieting down, I have made some realizations about life and priorities this time around. My pans for the summer were to work as manager, study for comprehensives, write my thesis and be a mommy. Plans for the fall would be the same, but would also add in my 10 hour a week assistant-ship. As I was doing all the things that were expected of me (including filling in as a lecturer on campus every couple of weeks) I saw a disturbing trend. My work, thesis, study, and teaching were all getting in the way of my other responsibility...mommy.
That is backwards right? ...right. To all you mommies out there you probably understand. I had no time even before adding in baby's needs. I felt like I always had to tell Evelyn "Sorry sweetheart, mommy doesn't have time to play right now." How could I keep saying that to my little buddy? This time in her life is so developmentally important. I want her to know from early on that she matters to me. I want to be accessible to Evelyn because I am grateful that my own mom was always accessible to me. I want Evelyn to learn how to play make believe and how to build with blocks, how to scribble and how to climb the stairs. And I want her to learn to do those things with me. She deserves a best friend who is available.
I was faced with one of the toughest choices I have ever made. What to give up. Well, as a grad student you are expected to make some sort of contribution to the department in the form of teaching or TAing so that couldn't go. I needed to keep the management job because that was an answer to prayer and is a great way for me to help us save up now that Kevin is in grad school. After weeks of thinking about it, I decided that my masters degree was the one thing I could let go for the sake of something better. I realized that I was finishing my degree to finish it, not because finishing it would change anything about my life. I had thought that I might teach a few classes once my kids were bigger, but if you are out of the field for years a university probably won't hire you anyways. I realized that this is a time in life that I will not get back. I need to be present in my home. I know I have made the right decision. Now that I am accessible Evelyn is WAY happier! She will come over and play with me for 10 or 15 minutes at a time, but then returns to what she was doing. We go to the park, duck pond, or swimming most every day.
Now I am just working as manager and being a wife and mother. While there are still times when I need to work and must tell Evelyn I can't play right now, I am so much more focused on home and family. Even when I am working Evelyn is with me (unless she is napping).
I am so grateful for Evelyn! She is now 13 months old. I have been meaning to post some photos of this summer.
Kevin and I have been managing the Sparks II complex for a little over 3 months now. It is a lot of work, but I think it is really good for our little family. I LOVE that I can be home with Evelyn. With summer being the busiest time of year I also love that I can look forward to this job slowing down a lot once school starts. I have been selling contracts all summer and today we are down to our very last 2 contracts 1 for men and 1 for women. With three weeks plus till school starts I think we will fill.
Although summer is the busiest time here and I can look forward to things quieting down, I have made some realizations about life and priorities this time around. My pans for the summer were to work as manager, study for comprehensives, write my thesis and be a mommy. Plans for the fall would be the same, but would also add in my 10 hour a week assistant-ship. As I was doing all the things that were expected of me (including filling in as a lecturer on campus every couple of weeks) I saw a disturbing trend. My work, thesis, study, and teaching were all getting in the way of my other responsibility...mommy.
That is backwards right? ...right. To all you mommies out there you probably understand. I had no time even before adding in baby's needs. I felt like I always had to tell Evelyn "Sorry sweetheart, mommy doesn't have time to play right now." How could I keep saying that to my little buddy? This time in her life is so developmentally important. I want her to know from early on that she matters to me. I want to be accessible to Evelyn because I am grateful that my own mom was always accessible to me. I want Evelyn to learn how to play make believe and how to build with blocks, how to scribble and how to climb the stairs. And I want her to learn to do those things with me. She deserves a best friend who is available.
I was faced with one of the toughest choices I have ever made. What to give up. Well, as a grad student you are expected to make some sort of contribution to the department in the form of teaching or TAing so that couldn't go. I needed to keep the management job because that was an answer to prayer and is a great way for me to help us save up now that Kevin is in grad school. After weeks of thinking about it, I decided that my masters degree was the one thing I could let go for the sake of something better. I realized that I was finishing my degree to finish it, not because finishing it would change anything about my life. I had thought that I might teach a few classes once my kids were bigger, but if you are out of the field for years a university probably won't hire you anyways. I realized that this is a time in life that I will not get back. I need to be present in my home. I know I have made the right decision. Now that I am accessible Evelyn is WAY happier! She will come over and play with me for 10 or 15 minutes at a time, but then returns to what she was doing. We go to the park, duck pond, or swimming most every day.
Now I am just working as manager and being a wife and mother. While there are still times when I need to work and must tell Evelyn I can't play right now, I am so much more focused on home and family. Even when I am working Evelyn is with me (unless she is napping).
I am so grateful for Evelyn! She is now 13 months old. I have been meaning to post some photos of this summer.
Having fun with cousins up in Garland.
Evelyn LOVES her hat and wears it all over the house.
My whole family came down for her birthday. We swam in the pool and had a BBQ.
Time for cake!
Evelyn's first exposure to chocolate was a roaring success!
Evelyn was on this kick for a few days where she would put her jumper over her head and crawl around giggling.
On the train at Lagoon.
Laughing at the monkeys at Hogle Zoo.
We go swimming a few times a week. Evelyn LOVES the water.
Ducks in two directions at the duck pond. She didn't know which way to look first!
She is getting SO big!
Apparently Evelyn thinks the ducks have had enough bread. Her turn now :)
Evelyn is a great climber...at the park...in the house...on the bookshelves...
We keep a diaper changing station in an ottoman. She opens the lid and climbs in almost daily.
Computer wiz kid. Already learning how to type and run a mouse :)
Life is good! The next couple of weeks will be crazy as the students arrive for school, but I think we can do it. Have a great day!
Evelyn is such a doll, Katie! And good for you for making such a tough decision. I am sure you will always be glad!
ReplyDeleteIt must have been hard to sacrifice your degree, Katie. I'm so proud of you! Evelyn doesn't know it now, but she is one lucky little lady to have you for a mom!
ReplyDelete