So those of you who keep in touch know that I've been adjusting to being a stay-at-home mom. Up until this spring I worked (either on campus or out of an office just off my living room). The past two months in Clearfield have been a real eye opener on what it is like to be a SAHM. I love it. I know for now that is what is best for our family. NOTE: It might not be right for everyone, but for us it is.
The tough thing for me right now is that I feel so much pressure to do more. I don't get it. I care for the kiddos, we go to the park and museums, we play games at home, build forts, read together. I clean, meal plan, make (mostly) healthy meals, coupon for diapers and toiletries, and play board games with my spouse as soon as the kiddos are in bed. It is a full life, but there are constantly voices that inadvertently make that seem inadequate.
I say inadvertently because the voices I am referring to would never ever do that on purpose. "Join my team!" "Work from home!" "Be a leader." "Be inspiring" Sell wraps, books, makeup, jewelry, clothes, financial advice, fitness, anything under the sun. Even my favorite SAHM activists are bloggers that bring in ad credits and end up traveling the country and speaking at Women's Expos. This is NOTHING against momtrepreneurs! If that is what is right for you and your family then that is awesome!
I was having a crazy hard time with that. Maybe I should just pick up one of those so I don't seem lazy. Notice I say SEEM. I guess that is the trouble with being so connected. I don't want people who I haven't seen in six months to think I am lounging my days away :) I get that it is crazy, but that is still how I felt. Maybe I should pick up something like that so I can meet people and be glamorous. An entrepreneur. Maybe I could make my millions in makeup and retire by 35! Possible, but with my temperament just thinking about it stresses me out.
Kevin asked me last night what was wrong and we had a long talk about it. We don't need the extra income since we have a budget in place to meet our financial goals. He knows I would set unreal expectations and then it would just stress me out. My days are FULL as it is just based on my style of parenting. I need to quit looking for "the next big thing" and just enjoy my semi-peaceful, slow and steady life.
I told Kevin that sometimes I wish I were exciting, or that I was inspiring. Heck, I'd settle for appreciated! Who doesn't want that...right? He reminded me that my work was appreciated by my Father in Heaven and by him. Kevin thanks me often for the work I do at home and I realized that I just needed to listen to him more. He told me that if I wanted to be an inspiration that I should remember that I will inspire my children to be good and kind. That one struck a heart string. I will stick with that for now.
It is a good day to be grateful!
The tough thing for me right now is that I feel so much pressure to do more. I don't get it. I care for the kiddos, we go to the park and museums, we play games at home, build forts, read together. I clean, meal plan, make (mostly) healthy meals, coupon for diapers and toiletries, and play board games with my spouse as soon as the kiddos are in bed. It is a full life, but there are constantly voices that inadvertently make that seem inadequate.
I say inadvertently because the voices I am referring to would never ever do that on purpose. "Join my team!" "Work from home!" "Be a leader." "Be inspiring" Sell wraps, books, makeup, jewelry, clothes, financial advice, fitness, anything under the sun. Even my favorite SAHM activists are bloggers that bring in ad credits and end up traveling the country and speaking at Women's Expos. This is NOTHING against momtrepreneurs! If that is what is right for you and your family then that is awesome!
I was having a crazy hard time with that. Maybe I should just pick up one of those so I don't seem lazy. Notice I say SEEM. I guess that is the trouble with being so connected. I don't want people who I haven't seen in six months to think I am lounging my days away :) I get that it is crazy, but that is still how I felt. Maybe I should pick up something like that so I can meet people and be glamorous. An entrepreneur. Maybe I could make my millions in makeup and retire by 35! Possible, but with my temperament just thinking about it stresses me out.
Kevin asked me last night what was wrong and we had a long talk about it. We don't need the extra income since we have a budget in place to meet our financial goals. He knows I would set unreal expectations and then it would just stress me out. My days are FULL as it is just based on my style of parenting. I need to quit looking for "the next big thing" and just enjoy my semi-peaceful, slow and steady life.
I told Kevin that sometimes I wish I were exciting, or that I was inspiring. Heck, I'd settle for appreciated! Who doesn't want that...right? He reminded me that my work was appreciated by my Father in Heaven and by him. Kevin thanks me often for the work I do at home and I realized that I just needed to listen to him more. He told me that if I wanted to be an inspiration that I should remember that I will inspire my children to be good and kind. That one struck a heart string. I will stick with that for now.
It is a good day to be grateful!
Oh Katie, I love you! Can I say something honestly? I live what I think some people think is a glamorous life--in a foreign country, getting an advanced degree, etc (all "worldly" achievement stuff)--but to be honest, what you get to do every day is my dream, and the dream of a lot of other people I know who don't get to be a mom and a wife and build a home yet. I'm glad you have such a good husband to remind you that your life is valued and appreciated, and not only by him and Heavenly Father (who are the only two who really count), but also by all of us who see you and know what a good, conscientious mother and person you are. Don't let Satan tell you you're not doing enough. The reason a lot of other moms do that stuff, I think, when they're families don't need it, is because they've given into that lie too, that our efforts only count when other people see them. That's not true. You're awesome with or without publicity. Thank you for sharing your life and thoughts with us!
ReplyDeleteI saw this Kasia! Thank you SO much. You do live a glamorous life and I am so glad that you do. Sometimes I have to remember that I have done that before. I did get my chance to travel the world and I am so glad that I did so I can draw on those experiences in my much less exciting life now :) You will never regret taking the opportunity to see the world. Thank you for always building me up girl! I think I am getting a little better at not comparing myself as I always have, but it is always hard not to. I am always grateful for the spirit and the gentle whisperings that tell me I am doing the right thing for me and mine. I LOVE YOU!
ReplyDeleteI mean I JUST saw this :)
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